Push! push! push! Hollered the midwife at the dawn of November 19 in the first year of a new decade where disposable diapers are just spawning, inside my parents small rented house in Rawis, as she saw my mother's first child's little head coming out of her. Tears of joy slowly flowed down from my mother's eyes as soon as she heard the baby's tiny cry. It's a boy! Says the midwife. It's an 8.5 lbs baby boy. And that boy child happens to be me. And yes, I was born in a house. In fact, all three of us siblings.
Somehow, it's delightful to think about how my parents became very happy just by staring at me. I bet that must have been a moment of sheer joy. I can imagine how my father perhaps would let me grasp his finger by my tiny hands like I will never let go. He might have thought in that moment, "I'm the happiest man in the world...I'm going to do everything to protect you and to provide for you.", while watching me sleep in perfect peace.
But there's something about those times that really became very remarkable, for it was an event in my infanthood that has been shaping my entire life. I remember my mother once talked about it. She said, she and my father would often lay their hands on me while I was sleeping and dedicate me to the Lord.They have actually offered me to God.
From the time that I became aware of the existence of God, that's the time when the Holy Spirit convicted me of sin when I heard that preaching, and realized what Jesus did on the cross for me that I can't help myself but to believe on him and receive him in my life, I was like fourteen years old then, until now, I have always felt the hands of the Lord over my life. In other words, I have seen how the Lord has always been with me. I can really relate to some statements in the bible where we find words like "and the Lord was with Joseph...", "and the Lord walked with him", and many other similar phrases. I know that it's one thing to believe and know that God is always with us, but its another thing to actually see and feel it.
I believe that I was born for a purpose. God has a purpose for me and all these times, he had been bringing me into that purpose. There was a time in my life when what I was really doing was to get myself out of that purpose. Although in those times that I was doing them, it wasn't my purpose, since only later did I realized my purpose. So, all I knew was that I hated my parents and I just wanted to rebel against them and against the godly system. But even in the midst of that dark chapters of my life, I still see the hand of the Lord moving in my life. I just simply can't escape it. I remember when I was almost saying these words with a clenched fist pointing to heaven..."Stay out of my life God, I don't need you." Whenever I recall these, I can't believe how foolish I had been. Never realizing that the very breath I take and even the energy to clench my fists and construct the sentence I just said was coming from Him. How could He not destroy me then? I could have easily been crushed and brought into powder by a flick of God's finger but He didn't. All those times the Lord had been very patient to me. Thank God, God is not like men. These experiences led me to believe that He must have had a purpose for me for sparing and sustaining me.
Now that I'm thirty...wow, I'm not even ashamed to tell it, hahaha, how could I give up believing that God is not done with me yet? I believe He isn't. If He was, I can't be here writing this blog in the first place. Although whether I like it or not, this is a considerable age of an adult, and that really sounds old, but there is really one thing that comforts me having reached this age. I must consider this as a consolation upon stepping on this part of my life's ladder. You know what it is? This is the same age when Jesus Christ started his earthly ministry! When he started telling folks about the truth of God's kingdom and healing the blind men, the deaf, the leprous, the crooked, touching people's lives and really showing to the world what true love is all about and displaying an unprecedented act of humility and compassion. Wow! I really feel privileged to be in that same age!
Last Saturday, the church prepared a surprise birthday party for me. I wasn't really expecting it, and I have not demanded for it. I could treat my birthday just like an ordinary day and I'll be happy still. But to tell you honestly, it was my first time to have a birthday party, like a real party ever since my memory started working. I received birthday wishes plus a barong that the church bought for a present. I started to get convinced that this must be another milestone for a new beginning. There's just something special about it! Anyway, it all started from a call from brother Bong at around 6:00 p.m. inviting me for a dinner at their house. Me assuming that it would just be like another usual dinner that we had before, I didn't even cared to change my clothes after buying at a family mall. I was in my "maong" shorts, polo shirt and flip flop slippers. So Bong came to fetch me at around 6:45 p.m., rode on his motorcycle and went straightway to our chapel. I asked him "why are we going here?" He said, "we're just going to check out something." The gate was open and lights were off when we came inside the chapel grounds but until at this point, I have no idea of what's waiting for us in there. He stopped the bike in front of the chapel's main door, they turned on the lights and started yelling surprise. So there the party went on and it was such a blast.
But to slice out some portion of that party, after they were all finished giving their birthday wishes, it was time for me to say something. I was really very happy that night not because I had a great birthday party but because I saw how the church members are growing in love. They learned how to love the Lord that resulted in loving the man of the Lord. They asked me where I would be five years from now. I said, I'll still be here for you.
Even before my birthday came, thinking about how in this age Christ started his earthly ministry, I said to myself that even though people always say that life begins at forty, I will begin my life at thirty. Yes I always want to be ten years younger than others, hahaha. I will do everything I can, my best to show love, care, mercy and humility in every way I can. Lord, let me touch lives and let people see your everlasting glory in everything I do. Let this be a beginning of a life like you said in your word..."He will be like a tree planted by the rivers, yeilding its fruits in season." let me be that tree, let it begin at thirty.
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